FROM THE WINDER FOUNDATION
A Tribute to a Life of Leadership, Generosity and Goodwill
by Diane Hendrickson Winder, Chaplain Clan Donald Auckland / Co-Founder Winder Foundation
Read the many tributes to Harold on the dedicated Clan Donald Website.
A treasured tree has fallen, and a great gap is left in our world. Such was the mark made by the way in which Harold walked amongst us. Cherished heart of his family, and bright light of our lives leaves us speechless.
How does one even begin to pay tribute to a life of one of the most dignified, generous and kind-hearted souls?
Gentle, wise, loyal, good-natured, giving, thoughtful, attentive, altruistic, understanding, respectful, reserved, witty, moral, principled, honourable, caring, considerate and warm. These are but a few of the esteemed views by which so many people held Harold.
As a husband, father, clansman and friend it is without doubt that Harold has been well loved and respected by family and friends alike. In classic noble fashion, Harold made an immense difference to the lives of people throughout New Zealand. And his profound influence has extended far across land and sea to Scotland and around the world. Harold was never one to draw front-row limelight. Yet his enormous contribution to all things Clan Donald spans the globe from Auckland to Scotland.
In May, we applauded as Harold was awarded The Somerled Certificate, named after the medieval Gaelic hero, for his out-standing work and dedication to represent and promote Clan Donald in New Zealand.
Hospitality was one of the many hallmarks of Harold’s generous nature. Whether at Harold and Mary’s home, at the many Clan dinners, or in the Pavilion at the various Highland Games.
Truly, there are no words for the loss of this great man. We can only hope that, in time, our sorrow will subside. May we commemorate Harold with grace and admiration. And may we all be inspired by Harold’s life – one of immense yet quiet leadership, generosity and goodwill.Farewell treasured and honoured friend.
B-Cool Boys Thank Harold McIsaac Family Trust
Boys and families involved in the B-Cool Program and Full Circle Families are grateful to The Harold McIsaac Family Trust for its continued generosity in 2011.
As well as providing leadership to his family trust, Harold M. McIsaac has been active for many years in bringing Scottish heritage, ancestry and culture to New Zealand. He is High Commissioner for Clan Donald New Zealand, and Past President of Clan Donald Auckland and Districts Association Inc. (2006 to 2010). Harold and his wife Mary have been central figures in Clan Donald activities in Scotland and Auckland New Zealand.
After schooling at Auckland Boys Grammar, Harold did his accountancy training in a firm of Chartered Accountants and then worked in various accounting roles until establishing his own public practice which he sold in 2006.
Harold’s eldest son, Robert, became a tetraplegic at age 18 and Robert, with Harold’s assistance, formed The Association for Spinal Concerns Incorporated (TASC) which became a Charitable Trust. In addition, Harold went on to establish McIsaac Caregiving Agency which specializes in the care of the spinal injured with Robert being the first client. Today, the Agency has expanded to cover much of New Zealand, providing specialist homebased care for spinal injured and traumatic brain injured clients.
Robert unfortunately passed away in August 2003. He remains a constant reminder for us all of a young man who did not let his injury stop him from achieving great things in life.
14 SEPTEMBER 2009
Harvard Psychologist to Study B-Cool
In September, Winder Foundation founders Diane and Jon Winder met with Dr. William Pollack in Boston Massachusetts to discuss the launch of a collaborative research project to study the success of boys in the B-Cool Program.
Dr. Pollack has been enthusiastic about the program since Diane first contacted him in 2004. Unlike the stereotyped views of the development of boys that focus on toughness, staunchness and traumatic separation from mother and feminine loving and nurturing traits, Dr. Pollack has emphasized that there are more modern, relationship-based models for young males to journey into adulthood – such as those used in the B-Cool Program.
In addition to helping boys build their positive communication, leadership and life skills, B-Cool helps young men to build self-esteem, self-awareness and emotional resilience, which Bill defines as ‘healthy vulnerability', sustained through connection to loving adults, rather than the classic belief in stoicism and release from emotional ties. Adolescent males yearn not only for connection to adult mentors, but also for non-romanticized friendships with adolescent females. These new, more positive development pathways are linked to the prevention of violence, a key component of the Winder's mission in the B-Cool Program.
The B-Cool Program for Boys has been running in New Zealand schools since 2002. The Program was designed to address the growing needs for boys to learn self-directed skills to cope with emotional, social and academic challenges. The Program's unique strategies and tools are antidotes addressing the ‘boy code', a phrase coined by Dr. Pollack. Society has imposed unspoken, unwritten and outmoded rules of conduct on boys – a ‘gender straightjacket' that often leaves them without the experience or the tools to express their emotions safely.
Dr. Pollack is the director of the Centers for Men and Young Men and the director of Continuing Education (Psychology) at McLean Hospital in Massachusetts. He is also Assistant Clinical Professor (Psychology) in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He is a well-respected author of a number of books, including Real Boys and Real Boys' Voices. Real Boys has been viewed as “the definitive guide to understanding and interacting with boys of all ages.”
1 AUGUST 2009
Tough Financial Times Increasing Family Pressures
The ongoing global economic crisis is creating an even greater need to support boys and ease the stress on families and communities.
"Our aim is help families overall, yet in the 21st century research tells us that it's growing boys who are struggling. Too many of them are finding it difficult to build confidence, succeed at study and have happy and harmonious relationships with peers and family,' says Diane Hendrickson Winder, co-founder of the Winder Foundation.
The financial conditions make it imperative for the Foundation to use its funding in the smartest possible way, so that our programs are truly cost effective and families can meet their needs now and for the next generations. Our programs aim to take care of problems upstream in order to prevent downstream pain and expense right across society into the future.
We see this as an opportunity to become even better at supporting those boys and families in need. Through our wrap-around, whole systems and inquiry-based processes, and by helping to build strong learning communities, we help young people learn self-confidence and simple ways for them and their families to free up the emotional space to create their own solutions. We all work to fulfill the spirit of our grandmothers' advice about how ‘an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."
All organizations involved in social change work are finding the need greater and fund raising more challenging. That's why we're taking care to allocate our resources to the greatest areas of need. And no matter what the economic future holds, with sound practices, transformative thinking and caring relationships, we will all get through this time together.
6 JULY 2009
Boys, Masks and Learning for Life
Why boys wear a mask
Every day the Winder Foundation sees boys hiding the enormous pain they carry. On the surface these boys look cool and relaxed and are a full of bravado. Underneath it's a different story.
The boys wear a ‘mask' because they don't want any more hurt and they see that this is what many men do. Yes, there is a mask for adult males as well as young males. The problem for boys and men is they don't know how to work with their emotions. When they are hurt they usually push the pain down. At a certain threshold the boys can take no more, and the mask goes on. The mask's function is to tell the world that things are okay in the hope that they won't be troubled by more emotions that are too hard to deal with.
B-Cool helps boys learn to take off the mask
The B-Cool sessions are aimed at helping boys discard their masks when they are no longer needed. The boys do this when they feel safe and they have strategies to deal express their emotions safely and effectively. They are able to stand up for issues when they need to, regaining their natural male power – to be real again.
One of the tools to help boys is to create their own masks in art form. First, the boys think about the meaning of the mask and what they wish to portray. They create the image that works for them on a mask that they then wear. This exercise gives the boys a greater insight into the difference between what is going on inside and what can be shown outside. By creating a number of masks, boys can further understand the various personas they exhibit. If a boy decides he no longer wants a certain mask, such as "anger" or "victim” he can then exercise control over it by throwing it in the rubbish bin. The use of art is a helpful tool in the boys' understanding. It helps them gain a greater sense of self-control and self-confidence on the journey to being real men – when they will no longer need to wear a mask again.
1 JUNE 2009
Winder Foundation Participates in Human Rights Diversity Action Programme
The Winder Foundation has been accepted as a participant in the 2009 Te Ngira Diversity Action Programme (DAP) from the New Zealand Human Rights Commission.
The DAP brings together organizations taking practical initiatives to:
- Recognize and celebrate the cultural diversity of our society (diverse)
- Promote the equal enjoyment by everyone of their civil, political, economic, social and cultural rights, regardless of race, color, ethnicity or national origin (equal)
- Foster harmonious relations between diverse peoples (harmonious)
Participants are organizations that support the vision of a diverse, equal and harmonious Aotearoa New Zealand and are taking practical steps towards it in their own organization or in the community – for themselves, for those they serve, or for those they live alongside.
Click here for more about the NZ Human Rights 2009 Diversity Action Programme.
In March every year the Commission publishes a report that surveys general developments in race relations over the previous year, collates key data, analyses complaints and provides an overview of race relations research. Click here for the Race Relations Report 2008.
The Winder Foundation has chosen to participate in the DAP to raise social awareness on race relations, and to form networks with like-minded organizations who aspire toward healthy and happy societies.
‘It is time every child and young person has the opportunity to learn, practice and experience the human rights that are at the heart of New Zealand society.'
– Rosslyn Noonan, Chief Commissioner, NZ Human Rights Commission
3 MARCH 2009
B-Cool Program in Full Swing
The B-Cool Programme for Boys is in full swing with boys at two New Zealand Intermediate Schools.
Sixteen boys have been chosen or nominated at each school to participate in the program. All have come with open hearts and minds, ready to create new life stories and form new bonds and friendships within their groups.
The principals and teaching staff have forged a commitment to support the boys and the challenges ahead, bringing a new energy and approach to their students and classrooms, and helping these young men to shift old patterns into new ways of thinking.
Learn more about our programs, including B-Cool for Boys.
‘The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.'
– William James
15 FEBRUARY 2009
Winders in Wanganui UN International Year of Reconciliation
On Sunday, Winder Foundation founders, Diane Hendrickson and Jon Winder were the featured speakers at the New Year Brunch for the United Nations Association of New Zealand (UNANZ). They also spoke at Wanganui DayBreak and Midday Rotary Clubs.
Diane opened the presentations with inspiring words about Unity in Diversity, the theme for the UN 2009 International Year of Reconciliation. After reminding us of the opening words in the preamble to the UN Charter, "...We the Peoples...are determined to save succeeding generations from the scourge of war..." a sample of the long history of wars was given. Her simple message was: “today is a good day to end the idea of conflict and we are the ones to bring about peace with each other and the Earth.” The idea of conflict has been turned into a habit of conflict, resulting in the truly awful casualties of wars.
She reminded us that the idea of living in peace with each other as well as nature is not new. It has been practiced for centuries by peoples such as the Amish, the Hopi, Tibetans as well as thousands of organizations including Rotary International. Over 14,000 groups have been identified as dedicated to peace and security – often with no knowledge of each other's existence. (Paul Hawken, Blessed Unrest 2007).
Diane explained that peace itself is a process, not an end state, and living in peace is a learned activity. This year presented another opportunity to celebrate our diversity, while recognizing the need for harmony not only between peoples but also with our precious environment. How do we learn peace? We are the ones who can make a difference – each one of us. Education is the key, beginning with our young people.
Winder Foundation programs equip young men "at promise" with a wide range of processes and tools to deal with conflicts in a peaceful, nonviolent and lasting way. The Winders emphasized the importance of effective ways to engage in meaningful dialogue – bringing people from opposite sides of a conflict together as a way to transcend historical and cultural barriers of fear, prejudice and mistrust. By learning that we need both the capacity for human bonding and the physical, emotional and social space to live and thrive, we can begin the healing process of peace.
Click here for more about 2009 International Year of Reconciliation
" The Assembly, recognizing that reconciliation processes are particularly necessary and urgent in countries and regions of the world which had suffered, or were suffering, situations of conflict that had affected and divided societies in their various internal, national and international facets, proclaimed 2009 the International Year of Reconciliation.
– United Nations General Assembly
1 JANUARY 2009
New Year Message
While we awoke to the sounds of the New Zealand surf, the other side of the world awoke to the sounds of suffering. Continuous visual images of bloody children, terrified in tears and trauma began pouring over air waves everywhere around the globe. Day after day, the light of humanity is challenged by the shadow of darkness.
Many say we live in an age of breakdowns and breakthroughs, of unprecedented threat and great potential. As we write the story of our own future, what kind of future will be ours when every day we see the destruction of entire families and the death of countless children amidst violence, grief and despair? And yet, every day there stands new offerings to share and strengthen peace, justice and reconciliation. In this time of collapse and re-birth, there is hope. Hope that enough of us can stand courageous and firm with love in our hearts to affirm life and create a new place for all to act in harmony for the greater good.
"Hope is the thing with feathers...
That perches in the soul...
And sings the tune without the words...
And never stops at all..."
It is 2009. Surely over the ages of human life on this planet, we have collected a powerful, and different, cache of creative and enduring ways to solve conflict by peaceful means. Surely in 2009 we have the means to overcome the shadows of fear, frustration and anger. Surely in 2009 we have another new opening to learn to live together in peace and harmony.
Boys in the B-Cool Program use those means. They replace fists with words, trauma with talk, frustration with hope, anger with drums and fear with connection. They reach out to each other for support, and inside to the best of their human selves. Can we not learn from the teachings of our children, so that other children may look forward to a positive future?
May blessings of peace be upon those who are hurt and suffering.
May those in need find purpose and meaning in the work of peace.
May anger, fear and insecurity be overwhelmed by the love of peace.
May darkness be shattered by the light of peace within the human spirit.
May all those who affirm life discover each day a renewed path of peace.
May hearts everywhere find hope in the peace of love and understanding.
May what connects us to each other serve as a doorway to enduring peace.
We wish you all a new year of promise and a new year of peace.